The disconnection of practitioners in the healing field.

Something that has shocked me in this field is the way practitioners work with people. A lot of them do not know 'how' to work with clients, due to being unattuned to them. Instead, it is a rigid method, or enabling, saying there is integration when there hasn't been, enabling the client. Only to find that the client is still 'stuck' on the same issue, the same trigger coming up.

Quite a few practitioners in this field, simply do not know how to attune to clients to understand the issue. A lot of them have limited knowledge on how to work with parts, and knowing the different demographics of trauma.

Moreover, they can actually lie (not intentionally but due to a lack of knowledge on healing) about integration. Yet.. the client will still have the same triggers come up in life. When a trauma is healed, ultimately we 'let it go', because our ego is no longer in that state of survival trying to protect us. Our nervous system relaxes, emotions flow and get to be expressed, the limiting beliefs dissolve as there is nothing left to hold onto.

Coaches/ practitioners can enable false results.

The same happens in the psychic field also. A lot of readers or psychics will instead enable dysfunction by repeating what the client 'wants to hear', that this is their person, its just a hot and cold phase, they love you and are just scared. No.. that is a lack of communication and avoidance. This is an entire field where people can stay in very incompatible relationships just because they want something positive and feel powerless and lack of clarity as to what is happening, all because a psychic tells them what they want to hear.

People like to hear relief, they like to feel relief. Which is why people will accept what a coach has told them, even though.. its just relief. Not an actual somatic integration.

It is so important for coaches, teachers, healers to be upfront with a client before a healing session. To attune to them and tell them what their level of resistance is and then proceed with a method that is beneficial for that person. This leads me onto my next point.

Quite a few practitioners copy what was taught to them. Then try to teach that.

Some practitioners are repeating what has been taught to them. One common example, is the modality of unconditional emotional presence. People will present an issue only to be met with 'You must sit with that resistance'. The practitioner themselves, do not actually know what to do outside of the rigid method they are using. But most importantly, it is because they are not attuned to the person. People end up even more stuck. I'm sure many people have seen posts of someone stuck on a layer of resistance, thinking they are not 'getting into the emotion enough', to be told to continue to sit with it.

The reason for this is due to the codependency patterns in these practitioners. They do not have their own truth. Which is a huge factor of why they do not attune to a client. Because there are still practitioners who do not actually know how to heal. This is why you can often see posts from people of 'I've sat with this for hours and nothing is changing'. There are fundamental pieces of healing that are not being told to people because even some practitioners do not know. My last article on healing and disidentification explains this.

People must become aware that there are different demographics of people in the healing field to do with trauma. A fixed structure, or repeating what someone else has said can backfire immensely. Such as wanting people to feel their emotions and believing healing comes from this. No, that is only one piece of the pie. Two people can feel lonely, but they may need different methods. An example: working with a narcissistic aspect but in two people. In person A, that part may need to its perspective being challenged, to see the consequences of its actions, to gain a new perspective that is beneficial. In person B, this part may need its pain to be seen and validated by another aspect or other people, to be sat with.

Different parts in us have different needs due to our own childhood trauma. Yes there will always be commonalities, such as culturally, or generationally.

Speaking of common examples, here is one that ties into this whole topic.

A person is wanting to drop spirituality, they have expressed that they are doing so much spiritual work it is too much for them, method after method, video after video. Now, a practitioner/coach may tell this person to 'drop it all'. But..

Is that the right answer for that person? Did it come from attuning to them? Or repeating what someone else has said? Or just taking a guess?

For example; a client saying they are doing so much spiritual work. Someone may tell them to drop it all. But is this actually the attuned answer and way forward?

What if that person is actually coming from a negative core belief of self, putting pressure on themselves out of shame. And that shame is what needs to be worked with. If they go with the unattuned answer, they will still carry that shame, drop spirituality for a while, then get frustrated because they are still stuck. With the attuned answer, they are able to see their blindspot, seeing their inner critic, and work with this core issue.

I remember watching a video one time of a coach working with someone using the method of parts work. The video went on for around 2 hours, and the whole time they were unable to see the person was completely disconnected, dissociated and completely lost. 2 hours of dissociation. At the end of the video, they asked the person 'Did you feel that integration?' The person responded, 'I think so...'

No integration took place. The practitioner was falsely enabling because they were disconnected. The person was still stuck on the issue. What was going on? The coach was asking questions that were based off of what she knew/ had been taught, not actual attunement. Rigid questions that were not beneficial to the internal aspect of that person. Integration is a somatic feeling of wholeness. When an issue is gone, it is completely gone. If a person has to 'think', about whether they integrated or not, then no integration took place, because they are unfamiliar with the feeling to begin with, not knowing what it actually is/feels like.

One thing I do in my work is to always have a free call with someone who wants to work with me. Not only is compatibility assessed, but I also get to tune into them as I hear about their issues. Then during the days/week before the actual session, tuning into them and planning what tools to use, such as parts work, unconditional emotional presence, etc. This way the session goes with a flow and has structure to it. It is based on what is the most beneficial for the client so they get the most results.

Overall, it is important for practitioners to expand their knowledge on trauma and the different ways people cope growing up, see their blindspots when it comes to attunement, and develop a strong sense of self.