Why so many people are stuck in healing

I've noticed for a long time, that a lot of people are stuck when it comes to healing in the spiritual field. I wonder how many posts you've seen, comments, of people saying they have spent hours and hours "processing". This may be yourself reading this.

So many people are stuck, exhausted, running around in circles, why?

What is happening? Is it the teacher? The practitioner? The method? The client/student?

People are "processing for hours". Trying different methods of all kinds. They are running around trying to convince themselves of multiple things, while the pain is somatically in their body. For example, someone struggling with boundaries and self hate, may listen to another facilitator saying 'healing takes a long time'. Or they may form this thought purely on their own after numerous attempts at 'healing'. Others may 'drop' spirituality, unable to figure out what's happening and why nothing is changing internally. Someone else may blame a method from a teacher, believing it is too hard and they cant do it, that it must be harsh and they need more gentleness and time.

The one noticeable factor is that people do not recognize the feeling of integration because it has not been experienced on a deep somatic level yet. Therefore going to methods which may work on surface things, but not affect the root. These include meditations, light language, positive focus, etc. Quite a few teachers/coaches of these methods will tell the client 'Healing is happening!' and reinforce the clients confusion on whether something actually is, with positivity.

It is not just clients/ students stuck in healing. There are plenty of practitioners who are actually stuck in healing too. They also sit with themselves, end up exhausted, while the pain is still there in the body, yet convince themselves healing is occurring. Then tell this to some clients in the future. The rest of the day is spent with pain still present, but making choices to mitigate it. Not actually admitting to their own confusion, which is understandable, as it can mean collapse.

To notice that people are not actually healing, the same subconscious motivations are there, in connections. Especially romance. For instance, someone can still be drawn to the same type of partner who is avoidant, perpetuating hot and cold dynamics. Someone could be drawn to a person who doesn't have a strong sense of self, once again leading to many subconscious dynamics that are painful on both ends. Even though they have tried 'tons' of healing methods.

The result is that the root has not healed/ been resolved.

What if,

Healing can actually happen overnight or relatively quickly?

I remember during my awakening (late 2019), I had triggers come up of an old romantic partner. I sat with what came up for three nights (choosing to work on this during the evening), memories came up of being 5 years old and feeling abandoned by Mom as she walked out the room. I saw the negative belief attached and what i had made it mean. Once released and dissolved, the piece of myself and these emotions integrated back to me. My crown lit up and I could feel a timeline shift. The triggers that cause an attraction had completely changed, meaning my attraction for my ex was gone. I was now attracted to a different type of partner.

What was different about this?

During my awakening, a split occurred. "I" was not me. This was not something "I" did. It happened to me at my lowest moment, sitting on a strangers couch at 2am after leaving home, no money, no friends, nowhere to go. At rock bottom. There was a giving up, that caused a split. What I'm about to say, do not take it with the words being the "thing", they are merely for description.

There was an essence, separated from "me". I cried with grief like I had never done before as there was this unconditional love.

Disidentification had occurred. This is incredibly hard to teach. Why?

(This also answers why people are stuck in healing)

Because there is a part of them that wants to control healing, and feel good. It wont change (without acceptance of this). It is running away from a self concept of shame, and choosing healing methods to "believe' the universe is on their side. It is the ego.

Ego at the start, is identified with negative core beliefs. During a disisdentification process the ego (negative core beliefs) dissolve. This is when someone integrates their core authenticity. For instance, self trust, boundaries, and awareness of who you are occurs. This can also move someone from low self esteem to innately knowing they are the universe.

During a dissidentification, the emotions and negative core beliefs are given up to the higher self. Naturally. It is the process of allowing. Which then brings in acceptance.

In old texts and teachings, this is why people have awakenings when they hit rock bottom. A pure disidentification that is a surrender to the universe. It happens organically, not something the "'I" can do. You will see this in the biographies of some famous spiritual teachers.

However, a lot of teachers teaching about disidentification are missing this. When they tell someone to visualize separation from a part/self, or to meditate and allow thoughts, they miss out this essential ingredient. The student is run by that part that wants to control, its another "method".

What people need to see, is the part of themselves that is running and controlling their lives, i.e., healing from a motivation of control due to the negative core beliefs still being held onto from trauma.

Most of these beliefs are meanings made during childhood. The child cannot blame the parent and so they blame themselves for the need of survival. Thus creating a core of shame from scapegoat wounds. Core negative beliefs are actually a coping mechanism 'against' the universe. This is why people have to keep reading books on the law of attraction, to gain empowerment from running away from this trauma (it is subconscious).

When I moved back to the UK in 2021, I decided I wanted to build my life with a companion, but this time in the form of a romantic partner. Everything I did was to sort out my resistance and see what my subconscious was wanting, to then see if I was on board with this. Resolving resistance, and using positive tools to see what I was thinking and bring in that vibration. I remember doing a soulmate meditation for three nights for sleep. Someone then came into my life straight after. There wasn't any reading or watching videos on manifestation. That was ALREADY integrated in late 2019.

Then, after that connection didn't work out, it was time to sort out any resistance and see what I desire now. This is expansion, to move through contrast and expand when you are healing. Thus things naturally manifest and come into your life.

The reason I am sharing the above examples is to give hope and insight in a practical way. This is why people have been stuck in healing and, it is possible there is a way through.

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More on practitioners in my next article...